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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

My irrational fears...

Since I've been sleeping alone the past 3 weeks, I've re-developed these totally irrational fears, but they keep me up, tossing and turning all night, and it's driving me nuts.

My biggest fear is that the house is going to catch on fire while we're all sleeping upstairs and we're not going to be able to get out. I know we'd have to jump out the windows up here, but we don't even have a working smoke detector in the house. I guess I should replace the battery, huh?

Then I'm afraid of someone breaking into the house. I guess this is a normal fear. I lay in bed and I swear I hear noises coming from downstairs that sound like people trying to get into the house. I lay in bed and hold my breath and wait for the sound of foot steps coming up the steps, but of course no one ever comes.

I'll walk down stairs at random times in the middle of the night just to make sure the doors are still locked, even though I checked them 10 times already (that's my OCD, though).

I check on my youngest 2 kids constantly to make sure they are still breathing.

I hope all this anxiety goes away once I get back into the routine of being alone in the house. I guess since it's new to me all over again, I just have to readjust. I guess it's a good thing I'm taking anti-anxiety medications! hahaha....

Sorry if this was a morbid post! :-)


Miss Blondie said...

I feel ya girl! I've been sleeping alone for years and I still sleep with a baseball bat next to my bed!! I'm a young single mom who lives alone...I need the bat!! It'll settle down in due time but you'll still have worries in the back of your mind.

Bloggymommy said...

Oh sweety! I'm so sorry to hear all this! My hubs is at work a lot leaving me by myself most of the time and at night. I know it's hard to have these fears and still try to sleep. I constantly play out 'what-if' senarios in my head. 'What if someone breaks in? How will I get the kids and get out?' then I start my plan. It goes on and on and on so I know how frustrating it is! I've got to the point where I can't even go to bed at night until hubby gets home b/c I'm too afraid to fall asleep b/c of the 'what ifs'! The only bit of advice I can give you is to pray. I know that might sound silly but I always say a prayer (after my normal nightly prayers) and ask the Lord to keep my kids, my house, my hubs and myself safe, healthy and happy while we sleep. I ask him to send angels to watch over us and our house all night. It makes me feel better on the nights when my hubs doesn't get home until WAY late!

Sorry this is so long! lol Hope you feel better soon! :)

Gina said...

Put a fan on in your room for some background noise. It'll help you sleep!