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Monday, November 3, 2008

My irrational fear of police cars

OK, I have to admit -- my irrational fear of police cars following me is getting a *bit* out of hand. At first, it was just a mild annoyance. Like, I'd see a car, my heart would start palpitating, and I'd have to pull into the closest parking lot until it passed and I was 'safe'. But then the panic attacks really started getting more severe, and my get away schemes became more elaborate!

This morning I realized it had hit an all time high when I found myself getting off the wrong exit on the highway just to avoid a police car behind me. I wasn't doing anything wrong; not speeding, not weaving, not doing anything that would outwardly make a police officer want to pull me over. But again, my panic attacks started -- the sweaty hands, the heart palpitations, the inability to breath right, shaky hands -- you get the picture. It was awful.

I've ducked into apartment complexes, only to have cops follow me into them, making me panic even more. I've always thought "Crap, what happens if they pull over next to me and ask me who I'm there to see???".

I'm made fun of over this OCD trait of mine all the time. I literally can't be in front of a police officer without having a panic attack. I've been pulled over before b/c I'll actually start speeding out of nervousness when one is behind me. It's an awful, awful habit.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has this weird fear of police cars???


DrLang said...

My response here is a bit late, but I know exactly how you feel. My anxiety has not gone to your level yet, but it has being going on for a few years now and it's getting noticeably worse. I have started giving serious consideration to seeing a therapist about it before I am too far gone.