Taking a break from Blogging for a while....

Although I'm sure no one's sad to see me go :-) Let's face it, I've been lousy at updating recently, and even my own brother noticed!!!

Things have just gotten really stressful and overwhelming, and I haven't been able to give this Blog the attention it deserves.. I've gotten burned out! I'm not the most intresting of people, anyway, and I've just run out of things to talk about. I can only post *so* much about my Kidney stones before people start losing interest! hahaha...

So anyway, I'll still be around... I'll make sure to check out the Blogs I read on a daily basis, and I'll still be working on Celebrity Round-up every week over at Mom Dot. I might be stressed, but I still LOVE my Celebrity gossip! :-)

In the famous words of the Terminator, "I'll be back"......

Now I know why the pillows were only $2.99...

Last night I decided to go out and buy a whole new sheet seat, comforter, pillows, and pillow cases. The main reason was because my damn cat peed on my sheets, and even though I washed them over 5 times, they still smelled like cat pee. And let's face it, no one wants to lay in a bed that smells like cat pee.

At Target, I found a really great 'deal' on pillows -- $2.99!! So I pick up 2 of them, along with nice pillow cases, get home, get the bed all set up and try to fall asleep.

It's NOT working. Those pills are like laying on nothing! My head just sinks right down through to the other side. There's no padding, support or anything. I felt like my neck was going to break! I could've made the crappy pillows myself by just putting the cotton stuffing that my son bought for a project into a pillowcase and tying it shut.

Ugh.. Now I'm stuck with these 2 crappy pillows... Of course, I'll probably end up going back to Target today and buying nicer ones, but it just annoys me that I can't return these pillows since I slept on them already, and threw the packaging away.

Oh well... at least I'm only out $6. Lesson learned. NEVER BUY THE CHEAP PILLOWS!!!!!!

I know, I've sucked at updating lately!

But trust me when I say my life has been sooooo stressful and complicated the past week or so. My head is still spinning! It feels like every day, something else horrible is happening.

I had my Kidney CT Scan on Tues to see if I had Kidney stones, turns out I do... My Dr promised me that they'd 'pass' by Thurs, and that if they haven't, to call and make an appt with a Urologist, since it'll be almost 2 weeks that this has been going on... Sooo, I see a Urologist on March 2nd, and they'll discuss whether or not I need surgery. Can you say "Fun"? Ugh!

I freaking hate this! I'm still in a lot of pain, and I have these random contractions in my bladder all throughout the day. I feel like I'm in labor again! My DR said it's the body's way trying to pass those nasty stones, but so far nothing's happening!

In other news, my Sister in Law, who I've posted about earlier, is in really bad shape. She went into a Coma yesterday, and they're not expecting her to make it through the weekend.. *Sigh* It has been SO had. Sophie has picked up on everything that's going on, and she hasn't let me out of her sight. Everytime I walk away to do something, she asks "Are you going to come back? Are you going to die?"... It's so sad. I try to talk to her about things in ways she'll understand, but she's still fixated on the fact that I might die. I finally have decided to not talk to her about it until something happens with her Aunt, and then Hubby & I will figure out the best way to explain what's been going on.

I have some other things going on as well, which are really stressful, but I don't want to bring them up here... Just everyone say a prayer for us :-)

I'll try to get on more and post, but I can't make guarantees... Just stick with me!!!

All alone..... on Valentine's Day.....

I feel like singing that song, "All by myself........".... Ugh. I know I shouldn't let it get me down, but I'm just so depressed! Valentine's Day, the last few years at least, has been a special day for me -- my husband proposed to me on Valentine's day, so every year for the past 5 years I would look forward to our special little 'anniversary' of when we decided to start our lives together......

But today has been like any other day. The kids have dirty faces and knots in their hair (Well, just Sophie at least...). Sponge Bob has been on our TV all day... I'm wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, with minimal make up. No sexy clothes or nice make up for anyone in my house!!! Instead of a fancy dinner out, we ordered take out from the local pizza short. Oh well. At least I have my kids here, right?

Sophie and Peyton don't even really know it's Valentine's Day. Sophie has been saying "Happy Valentine's Day" all day, but I don't know if she gets what it means.... and Peyton has no clue... Chris, on the other hand, made me this REALLY sweet card, a card that totally made me cry; until I realized that he copied it out of a Hallmark card that my sister had sent to my mother!!! LOL..... I guess it was the thought that counts, right? At least that's what I'm going with!

Anyway, I hope however you chose to spend your Valentine's day -- with a special loved one, with your kids, or alone, it was a special, love filled day!

Well, I guess both myelf *and* my GYN were wrong...

Because apparently I don't have a Kidney infection. Which is probably why the antibiotics haven't been doing anything since Wednesday, and why I feel worse and I'm constantly in pain.

Apparently I have kidney stones!!!! That's currently what my Primary doctor thinks, at least. I was there to see him bright and early at 8:00 a.m., and after explaining everything to him, he asked if I had ever heard of Kidney stones and I knew I'd be in for trouble!!

A few years ago, my OB/GYN found stones during an U/S to check for something else... He told me that they can kind of just hang out there in your body for a long time, and they shouldn't cause much pain, but that at any random time, they can just flare up and be hell!

So now I have to go in for a Spiral CT Scan on Tuesday to see what's going on, and I have to drop off a Urine sample at the Lab Monday morning. And then the Dr will see if I'll be able to pass them myself, or if I'll need surgery. Damn it!!

I swear, lately I cannot go to the Dr without ending up with something really stupid, something that I totally didn't plan on going in there for. So now I'm wondering if the last 'Bladder Infection' I had, about 6 mths ago, that my GYN put me on antibiotics for but came back right away again, was really the stones acting up.....

So we'll see what happens~

Kidney Infection = Absolute living hell

First off, my apologies for not writing more on here the past few days. I'm not lying when I say I've been in absolutely AGONY the past few days with this stupid freaking kidney infection. When people have described the pain as intense as childbirth, I thought they were just blowing steam up my ass. Believe me, people -- it's true!!

For the past 5 days, I've been in a daze... Somehow I've managed to talk to clients, request medical records, review complex Social Security files, and prep clients, all without screwing up. I've ran a household (sort of!) and managed to keep it all together. All while having fever/chills/nausea/pain/etc. Ugh. It's been a looooong week.

I thought for sure I'd be better by now. The Nurse Practitioner at my GYN office put me on pretty strong antibiotics, and told me to call my PCP by Friday (today) if I didn't feel better. I thought "Won't be necessary, I'll be fine by then!". Nope! Actually, the opposite is true! I actually feel worse...

So I made the obligatory call to the PCP, describing all the pain, how I haven't been able to pee (sorry, TMI!) normally in a day or two, how I have regular contraction type things in my bladder area while I'm just sitting here (they hurt!), how I"m running a 101.4 fever, etc... Surely she'd tell me to come in right away, or go right to the ER? Hell no.. She offers me an appt for 8:10 tomorrow morning!!

Just wanted to come on here and update.... Please bear with me while I continue to sludge through this hell and hopefully start feeling better soon!!!

Diagnosing myself on the Internet is fun!

I think I've finally figured out what has been plaguing me for the last 2 weeks! AND, I didn't have to go sit in any nasty ass waiting rooms or have to see pay a co-pay! whooo hooo! Actually, I *do* have a Dr's appt scheduled tomorrow, but it was scheduled before I started feeling so crappy. It just happened to coincide...

((THIS IS THE TMI PART RIGHT HERE, SORRY))

I have a history of Bladder infections, and about a week ago, I could feel the symptoms of a bladder infection coming on. So I started drinking cranberry juice, and I seemed to feel better. But then on Sunday, I started to get a really high fever.... And then chills.... And then nausea.... and then a few other symptoms which I won't list here because they have to do with potty functions.

Soooo... as I'm sitting here at work, doubled over in pain, sweating from my fever, shivering with chills, I type in "Symptoms of Bladder Infection" and go on to read, and scroll down to read where it starts talking about "Symptoms of Kidney Infection", and I felt like I had hit pay dirt!!!!

Now, obviously I'm not a Dr, unless someone wants to pay me like a DR and let me walk around calling myself Dr. Michelle... LOL. But it's good to know that this is a possibility for when I walk into my Dr's appt tomorrow. I *almost* picked up the phone to call my family Dr earlier today (this appt tomorrow is for the beloved 'female' dr) but I thought my family Dr would think I was being a baby if I called in saying I had a fever and chills...

so, we shall see... In the meantime, I'm going to go back to being wracked with fever and chills. SO not fun!

Dear Blogger:

Dear Blogger;

I just want to let you know, you suck.

When I work on an article, for over two hours, I expect to be able to insert pictures into the article. I want to be able to hit the pretty little mountain icon and have the 'insert picture' box come up. I want to be able to insert my pictures, arrange them into the post, and move on with my day. I don't want to sit here and push the button over and over again, stupidly hoping that it'll make it work faster.

My eyes hurt from looking at the screen. I have not gotten off the couch since 5:30. It's now 7:39 p.m. I have not eaten, so I am super grouchy. Don't you know that Saturday nights are the nights I work on my celebrity article for Momdot? (Yes, my life is that pathetic).

But alas, I'll just have to save my article and finish it up tomorrow and hope that you want to let me insert pictures then.

Thanks so much for sucking.

Your unloyal customer,
Michelle :-(

Ways you can tell your co-worker is bipolar...

All from personal experience... whose personal experience???

1) She runs around singing "Fame -- I'm going to live forever!!" and does Jazz hands, encouraging everyone to sing.

2) Finds it insanely funny to twirl the office chairs around and around and around, and wants to have a competition to see which one goes fastest (the tall backed leather ones go faster than the shorter red fabric ones. I wonder why that is??)

3) Keeps breaking into random insane laughing fits, lasting at least 5 - 10 minutes, where her face turns bright red and she can't stop. And when a client calls during the middle of one of those said laughing fits, she hangs up on him because she can't talk and pretends like it was an accident.

4) Decides it's a good idea to go Horseback riding today, even though it's 24 degrees outside. Tries to recruit co-workers.. No one else thinks it's a good idea. Calls 3 different ranches, all of which say they're closed during the winter. Argues with one and tells them it's a stupid idea to be closed during the winter....

5) Randomly stares up at the ceiling light cover and is insanely annoyed at the dead bugs just laying in the cover. Tries to hatch a plan to get the cover unscrewed and get the bugs out. Tries to climb on the leather highback chairs to reach the ceiling, but that rolls away and I almost fall -- thankfully the desk breaks my fall. Then I try to recruit a co-worker to let me stand on him while he's on his chair and reach it -- he didn't think that was a good idea. Finally someone offered me a step stool to placate me, but by that time I decided it was a stupid idea and I moved on to something else...

Yes, people -- that was my day.... I usually don't like to talk about the fact that I'm a certified crazy, bipolar, pill popping mental person, but some days I can't escape it; today being one of those days. I haven't been doing well, and I've been neglecting my Blog, so pardon me if this crap is on my Blog today.... Ladadadadadadada... I'll try to fill it with more happy things in a couple days :-)

Sooo, I've been using Proactiv Solution for 2 weeks and...

I absolutely LOVE it!

I have to say, I had my reservations about this product. The biggest reason; the cost. I mean, $60 for face wash? I am uber cheap when it comes to face wash. I usually buy the cheapest stuff at the store, whatever is on sale.

However, since I've been taking Lithium for the past 9 months, it has been torture on my face. One of the major side effects of Lithium is acne. This is the first time in my whole life I've ever had acne. I used to have perfect skin, and for my face to break out now, at 29 years old, was really hard on me.

So I broke down, ordered it online, and started using it.

I *did* take pictures, from what my skin looked like when I first start using it, what it looked like at the end of the first week, and what it looks like today, but I'm not going to be posting them. Why? I HATE the way my profile looks! I'll save you all the horror. Let's just say it works, and works really, really well.

It's a three step solution -- there's the renewing cleanser, which has tiny little beads in it which sloughs away dead skin and gets deep into your pours. This leaves your face feeling SO awesome afterwards!

Then there's the Revitalizing Toner, which helps remove anything the cleanser left behind, any makeup, dead skin cells, etc and also helps cleanse and tones your pores.

Last is the Repairing Lotion, which you use all over your face. This helps heal blemishes and prevent any future breakouts.

My set came with the Green Tea Moisturizer as an extra bonus, which I love.. It smells great, and I put it on right after I put on the Repairing lotion. It's real lightweight, and is just enough moisturizer to leave my skin feeling soft and smooth, but doesn't leave it feeling greasy.

On top of that all, I love this Proactive line SO much that I just ordered (and received, in just a mater of a few days) Proactiv Foundation, Loose Powder, and Refining Mask. I have to say, all three of these items are AWESOME. The foundation that I was using, which was some Maybeline foundation, was awful. It looked like Clown makeup! It was so caked on and orangey looking. Plus, my skin felt so good after using all the great Proactiv products that I just didn't want to put heavy products on.

The Proactiv foundation, and I'm not kidding when I say this, matches my skin *perfectly*. I got the medium color, and as soon as I put it on my skin, it automatically blends in. It doesn't even look like I'm wearing foundation. It looks so much more natural.

I'm amazed at the fact that in just 2 weeks, my skin is almost 75% cleared up, and looks so much healthier. I know it's going to be a fighting battle, especially since I need to continue to take Lithium, but with Proactiv on my side, at least I'll be a little more confident every day!

1 Month Weight Loss Update!

Here it is, ONE whole month into my weight loss journey.... 30 days ago, I NEVER thought I would've made it this far. I never thought I'd be able to cut out my beloved soda, or my junk food, or my fast food, or ANY of the shit I ate on a daily basis. BUT, I've done it, and damn have I done it well if I must say so.

So, the grand total weight loss in one month???

FIFTEEN POUNDS. Yes, people -- 15!!!!

I know there's going to be people that'll tell me that's too fast of a weight loss, and I can appreciate that. However, I promise you; I did not set out to lose that much weigh that fast. I promise you that I didn't starve myself (at least not too much! lol..), I didn't make myself throw up, and I didn't do any fad diets. I just started to eat healthier, and the weight just fell off.

My clothes fit better, and I feel better. My face looks so much skinner already, and sometimes I look in the mirror and think "Is that me?". My pants that I just bought 2 weeks ago, b/c my other pants were too big, are already getting too big.

Now I'm only 35 lbs to my original goal -- 5o lbs by my 30th birthday in July! I want to be hot and sexy by time I turn 30 :-)

Hebrew school Dropout....

*Hanging my head in shame* I admit it -- I've let my child become that child -- the child that stops going to extra-curricular activities, although I promised myself that I would never let them quit. Although if we're talking honestly here, it's MY fault that she isn't going anymore.

This is the first year that Sophie has been old enough for Hebrew school, and I was really excited when I found out that she qualified for the 3 & 4 year old class. It's only once a month at the Temple, which is about 45 minutes from our house. I just don't think Sophie 'gets' it, and I think it's my fault. Because of our hectic schedule, and my work schedule, we NEVER make it to Tot Shabbat, which is every other Friday night at 7 p.m. Tot Shabbat is when they learn more about G-D, about the religion, etc. So she just goes to Hebrew School, and is completely clueless.

She's in a class with other kids who live and breath Judaism; where they have older brothers and sisters who have been through Hebrew school, where they go to service every week, where they celebrate their religion every chance they get....

And then there's Sophie. Sophie didn't even know what a Menorah was at Hanukkah! I was SO embarrassed! It was then that I knew that maybe I should let her embrace this whole religion thing when she's ready. I still plan on reading her the cute little Jewish books we have at home, and celebrating the Jewish holidays the way we do it, but I don't necessarily want to get her into 'formalized' Jewish religion too early on. Is this wrong of me? Will she suffer if she doesn't get a good solid religious education?

My mother forced us into CCD when my brother and I were young, and we HATED it. We couldn't wait until we hit 8th grade and made our Confirmation so we could get the hell out of their, and I promised myself I wouldn't do the same to my children! And so far, I haven't... none of my older boys have been in religious education; Sophie is the only one!

My Button of the Week goes to.....

OK, it's time for the SECOND WEEK of Button of the Week... How fun!!! I visit SO many great Blogs on a daily basis, and it's really hard to pick just ONE Blog that's deserving of the Button of the Week!

SO, for this week, my Button of the Week goes to a really cool chick, Minxy Mimi @ Minxy Mimi Unplugged.

I have known Mimi for several years -- since our days on Webmd parenting boards (I think??). We've been through a bunch of board drama, and she's just a realy cool girl with a really cool Blog. She always have something intresting to say, and is really nice!

Visit Mimi, leave a comment, and check out all her other fun posts!

Here are the directions and rules:

Display each button you give with this:
(Insert 'Button of the Week' button or button of your choice here)"I am giving this button to _____ because she______! Click here to view my favorite post from her this week. Go check her out and spread your own Button of the Week."

RULES:

~Give a button to someone else with the explanation above and these rules.

~ Display the button you received on your sidebar with a link back to Bloggy Buttonz.

~ Do a post telling everyone about the button you received with a link back to the person that gave it to you and Bloggy Buttonz.

~ Comment on that person's blog telling them they got a button from you on your blog.

Why do people find it necessary to be rude??

Is it me, or are people (in general) just getting more rude? Whatever happened to "thinking before you speak"? AND, why must strangers just randomly talk to you, giving you their opinions? Do they *think* you'd want to hear whatever garbage their spewing???

This morning I had to run to the store before I dropped the kids at daycare. It was a snow day for my older boys, and we had no food in the house. I decided to run to the local store with Sophie & Peyton, which is something I never do. Sophie is fine in the snow -- she just walks with me and I usually let her pick out something small. Peyton, however, is a different story. He's a wild man in the store. He runs, he screams, he pulls things off the shelf. It's a nightmare. BUT, today I had no choice.

So I was in the store, running around and chasing him, and the floor was wet because, well, it was snowing heavily out.. So I was worried about him falling, but he could care less. I had to stop him from overturning a whole display of 2 liter bottles of Coke. *Sigh*

I get up to the counter, and an older man looks at me, looks at Peyton, shakes his head, and says "You REALLY need to get that kid a leash". WTF??! Yes, he said a LEASH. Like a dog. Those who know me know that I'm very anti-leash. I think they're horrible ideas.

So I turn to the guy and said "He doesn't need a leash, he's 2 1/2". His response? "Well, you need to do something. What's wrong with that kid? Is he retarded or something?".

OH NO HE DIDN'T. He did NOT just call my kid retarded! I mean, who does that? I was NOT about to get into my son's health issues and the fact that he has SPD and does not do well in public... Keep in mind, this was about 7 a.m, I was stressed already, and did not feel like getting in a fight with this a-hole. I kindly told him that he's not retarded, I didn't appreciate his comments, and walked out of the store.

Of course, he followed me out and then tried telling me about some kind of bill that's going to be passed in Senate that is going to fine drivers $75 for not scraping the snow off the top of their cars!! I dont know if he told me that simply b/c the top of my car was still covered in snow, or if he was serious. At that point, I didn't care.

I just don't get people sometimes!!!! Keep your opinions to yourself!

Feeling *so* frustrated lately...

I've been down in the dumps the past few days (OK, who am I kidding - it's more like the past few weeks/months). Just everything sucks right now and I HATE feeling like this. I feel like as soon as I take 2 steps forward in life, I get pushed back one step.

I DO know there's people worse off than me, and I'm thankful that I'm not as bad off as I can be. I work for a Disability law firm, and I see people every day that have horrible disabilities, no income, living on a couch of a family member, etc. So I have no right to complain, right?

I'm stressed about my kids and their health. Some how, all but one of my kids have ended up with health concerns, and I always worry about them. My 11 year old has ADHD and I struggle EVERY day with it. It's never under control, and I have to deal with him telling me he hates me, he wishes I was never born, and that I'm stupid on a daily basis. My 4 year old daughter was just diagnosed with Asthma, and has been having a hard time breathing the past few weeks. She coughs all the time even after 5 minutes of running around and doesn't' understand why she coughs so much. And let's not forget my 2 1/2 year old son with Sensory Processing Disorder, which brings on a WHOLE other set of issues...... AND on top of all that, I have my own health issues to deal with. I'm 29 but feel like I'm 70. I take 10 pills a day; that's a shitload of pills for one person to take. But if I don't take those pills, I'll be carted of to the loony bin in the matter of a few days, so they're kind of necessary.

My job sucks... I'm underpaid for my qualifications and know that I deserve so much more. BUT, because of the crappy economy, there's no jobs out there right now that will pay what I need. So I have to scrimp and save every week just to be able to pay my bills and make ends meet.

AND, my most recent frustration is my weight! I'm struggling to lose weight and it's freaking hard. The first 2 1/2 weeks, the weight kind of just fell off. Now I'm stuck and haven't lost any weight in like 3 days. I'm tired of seeing the scale read the same thing. *Sigh*

OK.... so those are my frustrations.... There's really NO point to this post, but I figured I'd post it anyway!~

Another exciting site to announce!

I'm just full of new sites and projects this week, aren't I? This is a project that is very special to me, as I've been living it for the past few months. My friend Stefanie and I (who recently opened the BLOGGY BUTONZ site) are happy to bring you THE SPD LIFE

The SPD Life is a support site for parents of children diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. Stefanie and I both have a child who are diagnosed with SPD, and we instantly bonded once we found out our youngest children are both diagnosed with this disorder.

We hope the SPD site will be a place where parents can come and find out more information, learn about exciting research in the area of SPD, and be able to chat with other parents who are going through the same thing. We also plan on featuring a new interview every week with an SPD Mommy/Daddy.

Having a child with SPD poses lots of daily challenges, but now hopefully parents can have a place to go to know that they're not alone!

Five Reasons Roto-Rooter sucks...

1) When I call at 8:30 a.m., and I'm promised someone will be there in *20* minutes, it's NOT acceptable for them to show up at 10:30 a.m, TWO hours later. Hello, I DO have a life. It's Sunday, and yes, while I DO have raw sewage hanging out in my wash basin in the basement, I DO have other plans today - mainly food shopping so I can feed my gaggle of kids.

2) Complaining about how much you hate your job in *front* of a customer is never acceptable. It's actually poor form. I don't want to hear how crappy the jobs you get called out on are, or how much you hate working outside when it's freezing outside. Dude, that's part of your JOB. If you don't want to work outside, or if you don't want to work around human feces, DON'T WORK FOR ROTO ROOTER!

3) Don't get all pissy when you tell me an exorbitantly high price to fix my clogged main sewer drain ($315 plus tax) and I tell you that I don't HAVE that much cash on me. AND certainly don't say "Can't you go inside and ask your husband for money"? Yes, I know there's no way for him to know that my husband isn't inside my house, but rather in his own apartment 3 miles away, but c'mon -- just don't assume that I'm a happily married woman with a husband inside who'll just give me loads of cash to pay you.

4) When I ask you if I can use a check instead of cash, there's no need to be bitchy and tell me that you already rang it up as cash. OK, just rip off the receipt and re-ring it up for a check. I'm sure it only takes 3 minutes to do that. But no, you were content in taking every last dollar of cash that I had, even though it means I can't go food shopping for my kids until at least Wednesday. That's not for you to worry about though, right?

5) After all is said and done, and I forked over all my cash to you and everything is signed, that's NOT the time to tell me that eventually I'll need a new $4,000 sewer system b/c the old one is orange piping something or other. I really don't want to hear that.

What did I learn after shelling out $267.50 to this guy -- I had a massive clog at the outside sewer line, caused by tree roots and compressed cardboard. Huh? I want to know how compressed cardboard got into the sewer line? I'm pretty sure none of my kids have a secret hobby of flushing cardboard down the toilet. *sigh* That's just my life, I guess.

The good news is the clog is fixed, the toilet doesn't back up, my wash basin isn't filled with shit, and I can do laundry again. So I guess that's the 'good' that came out of the day.

Looking for parents of children with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder)

Looking for moms and/or dads of children with SPD for an interview.

Stefanie and I will be opening a SPD Support Blog for parents and family of children with SPD on Monday and I am looking for one or two people to interview. If you are interested or know someone that might be interested please shoot me an email at: michwinter6291@gmail.com or Stefanie @ bloggymommy3@yahoo.com

Watch out for an announcement about the SPD Support Blog opening up. I'm super excited for this project, it's something that's very special to both Stefanie and I, as we live it on a daily basis. We're hoping to be able to help out other parents who find themselves in the same boat!

Thanks :-)

TOTAL drama at the gas pump today

And I'm STILL fuming. I absolutely HATE confrontation, and avoid it at all costs. Today, however, it couldn't be avoided.

I stopped at the gas station on the way home from Sophie's dr's appt. The only debit card I had with me was a Mastercard debit card, that for some reason works at some gas stations but not others. I never have a problem with it ANYWHERE else, other than gas stations. I fully think it's how the clerk is running the card.

So I try explaining to the guy, who I'm sure only speaks about 50 words English, MAX, that I needed him to run the card *before* he pumps the gas. I told him there's money in the acct, but that sometimes it doesn't ring up right. He said, "cash??" and I said, "No, I used all my cash at the Dr's appt. I have NO cash. Just this debit card".

He walks away to run it, and comes back about 3 minutes later. Now, in this 3 minutes time, I *was* busy with Sophie. She was coughing in the seat behind me, so I was turned around making sure she was ok, and wasn't paying attention to what the guy was doing.

He comes back and says "Card no good, Card no good". And I look at my gas tank, and see that he had put $10 in! AFTER I freaking told him NOT to until he runs my card! So I told him this, as nice as I could. I swear I was nice. I'm *always* nice. He starts YELLING at me, telling me over and over "Give me $10, Give me $10". I told him I don't HAVE $10, I told him I have no cash and it was my only card. So he grabs my purse, sitting on my lap!!! I managed to wrestle it away from him, but he kept telling me to give him my purse so I can show him the money I have in there!! I pulled out my wallet and said, "LOOK -- I have NO cash. See? Only pennies".

Then the manager gets involved! wonderful. This guy was slightly better, and probably spoke triple the other guy's English vocab. He tried running the card through all 3 machines, and it wasn't going through. So I told them I would go to the bank, right across the street, and withdraw the money. The idiot guy said "There no money in there!! You got no money!!!". OMFG! I had to explain to him, AGAIN, that I DID have money.

So I drive over there, take out the money, and drive back. I say "See, I TOLD you there was money. I got this out of THIS card, the one you told me there was NO money in"..

Ugggghhh... I plan on never going back to that gas station, not after the way I was treated. And *especially* not after he grabbed my purse???!!!

My button of the week goes to....

For those who don't know, my friend, and fellow Blogger, Stefanie and I have just started our new site, Bloggy Buttonz. Bloggy Buttonz is a cool place to go and get free buttons to display on other Blogs, and we also have the very special "Button of the Week", which you can award to your favorite Blog of the week.

SO, for this week, my Button of the Week goes to a really cool chick, Julie @ Cool Mom Guide.

I stumbled across Julie's site during the Mom Dot Christmas Blog party, and I've been hooked ever since. She has these hilarious "Random Tuesday" posts which I love, and it's her Wii fit fitness posts that keep me coming back.

Visit Julie, leave a comment, and check out all her other fun posts!

Here are the directions and rules:

Display each button you give with this:

(Insert 'Button of the Week' button or button of your choice here)
"I am giving this button to _____ because she______! Click here to view my favorite post from her this week. Go check her out and spread your own Button of the Week."

RULES:

~Give a button to someone else with the explanation above and these rules.
~ Display the button you received on your sidebar with a link back to Bloggy Buttonz.
~ Do a post telling everyone about the button you received with a link back to the person that gave it to you and Bloggy Buttonz.
~ Comment on that person's blog telling them they got a button from you on your blog.

*Seriously* -- are ALL Dr's offices like this??

Or is it just our pediatrician? I've only ever dealt with this office since my boys were little (so 13 years now!) so it's always just been the way it is. I always say I'm going to change providers, but we never do...

I call today to make an appointment for Sophie. She's been coughing a lot at night, so much where it makes it hard for her to fall asleep... She coughs a lot when she goes outside in the morning when she breaths in the cold air, and she coughs a lot after dance class. The other day, after dance class, she came up to me and said "Mommy, my heart hurts". Poor thing.

So I do some research, and everything I come up with says Asthma. I had Asthma as a teenager, and the Dr thinks I had it as a child but nothing was ever done about it. But she doesn't have a cold, and is really never sick, and this has been going on for a long time.

The Dr's office, after hearing her symptoms, says "Oh yeah, the Dr is going to want to see her". So I get ready to make an appt, and she says "Can you come in at 1:00" (it's now 12:15 when I call).. NO, I can't come in at 1.. So I tell her this, and she says "Oh, well you'll have to call on the day you want to bring her in, and if they have an opening, you can bring her in that day"!!!

So, what -- am I supposed to take a day off work, call the Dr, and HOPE there's an appt for us? And if there's NOT, then I just have to do it all again the next day?? That seems kind of screwed up to me. Why can't I just make an appt for say, Monday, and call it a day???? Arrgghh..

Now I'll have to take a day off work, probably Monday, and call the Dr super early and hope I can get in. Yay!

*Drum Roll please.... Announcing an exciting new project!

My friend Stefanie (http://allfromthelandofahhs.blogspot.com) and I are very excited to bring you.......

BLOGGY BUTTONZ!!!!!

What exactly *ARE* Bloggy Buttonz? Bloggy Buttonz are an AWESOME way to show some Bloggy love to your most favorite Blogs. Stefanie and I are *both* Blog-a-holics, and wanted to come up with a great way to leave comments, show some support, or just leave some cool 'buttonz' on whichever blogs you frequent.

If you're like us, so many times you type, "Hugs", or "LOL", or ANY number of commonly used phrases. Why not have buttonz for them?

At the Bloggy Buttonz site: (http://bloggybuttonz.blogspot.com/)., you'll find a whole bunch of buttonz to chose from -- everything from "Hugs", "Good Luck", "I Love Your Blog" (One of my personal favorites!", to a bunch of "Special Occasion" buttonz, and many, many more.

Check out the site today and start showing some Bloggy love!!

Wordless Wednesday

Ahhh, wishing it were summer again! I can't stand this 20 degree weather we're having now!

Sophie & her big brother Matt....

One step closer....

Ok, so only *some* of my closest friends know that for the past *6* years, I have been fighting to get a Breast reduction. I'm going to reveal something here that I HATE revealing to people -- my bra size... Are you ready for it??? It's a *44F* Yes, F -- as in freakishly large.

I've been told (by my Insurance company) that I'm not large enough. Huh?? Not large enough? What *would* be large enough? a 44H? 44J? Whatever. What gets me is that on the one chat forum I like to frequent, there are women there with MUCH smaller breasts than I have, who get approved with no problem at all. It's just not fair! *sigh*

So anyway, back in September, I tried AGAIN to get approved. I went to my Plastic Surgeon, and within days, the Insurance company said that IF I went through 6 months of treatment with an Orthopedist, got him to recommend reduction surgery, AND get a letter from my Primary Doctor saying that a reduction is necessary, THEN they would approve it. Sounds easy enough, right?

Let me tell you, it's SO freaking frustrating to go to an Orthopedist, fully knowing there's nothing they can do to help you! I saw the Orthopedist today; a stooped over 82 year old with an awesome sense of humor. He looked at me and said "why the hell are you back? what the hell am I supposed to do with you? Get those things hacked off!" LOL... He gave me pain pills and sent me on my way until next time!

He told me today that after I come back in April, he will write a absolutely glowing letter about how severe my neck and back problems are and how the only remedy for them is breast reduction surgery!! I hugged him, that's how happy I was. My primary doctor has already told me that he'd write me a letter, So BOTH of the requirements are met!

Whooo hooo! Now, I know most people wouldn't be happy about the prospect of getting appendages cut off, but I've been living with these huge weights as part of my body for soooo long, and I am SO freaking happy to get them reduced. I might even have a "Bye Bye Boobies" party!

*WHY* do the Eagles have to choke every time??

My WHOLE family are huge Philadelphia Eagle's football fans, so by default, I am too.. I'll admit that I know NOTHING about football. I don't know what 1st and whatever means or any of that technical shit. All I know is that when they get close to the other teams goal area, you yell really loud. And that if they drop a ball (a fumble -- I do know that!) that's bad.

Things were looking good for our boys in green today, as they were the favorites in the NFC Championship game. ALL they had to do was beat the Arizona Cardinals and we'd be in the SUPER BOWL. Easy enough, right? You'd think!

They started sucking early on... They were down big time by the end of the first half, and we were all ready to give up hope. I left my parents house in the 3rd period, and I didn't want to even watch the rest of the game! We listened to it on the way home, and the game started picking up. By time we got home, we were winning again!

With just 8 minutes left, and us up by 1 lousy point, it looked liked we might be able to clinch it and win the game. If it were a normal team, we'd be able to do it. But it's not a normal team, it's the Eagle's, and the Eagle's have a loooong history of choking when it's most important! We ended up losing 32-25, dashing our Super Bowl hopes, AGAIN.

My poor father keeps waiting and waiting for a Super Bowl win for the Eagle's... He'll have to wait again, until they get their act together!

Random Ramblings...

I meant to do this yesterday (Friday), as I tend to do Random Friday Ramblings. But I didn't get a chance to do it last night, so I'm doing it today :-)

This week has seriously been THE crappiest week ever. I won't go into the sordid details on here, but let's just say I've had a lot of personal family drama, and I'm pretty sure my parents won't be talking to me for a long while, which makes me really sad. I've cried enough about it, and now it's just a matter of letting time heal the wounds and hopefully letting things get back to normal...

I'm still SO annoyed at the couple sitting at the booth next to ours at Friendly's last night. They seriously looked at Peyton like he was a demon child, just because he was acting up. It was a 2 hour dinner from hell, and I was exhausted by the end of it, and my arm hurt from all the times Peyton hit and pinched me... Really, I don't know WHY I take him out to dinner anymore, other than I don't want my life to stop just because he has SPD.

It is SOOOO cold here today, as it's been for the past few days. I hate the cold! It's 13 degrees here today! The heat doesn't work well in our living room, because of something my husband did over the summer to get the air on in our bedroom upstairs, so now the living room is freezing and my nose feels like an ice cube. Plus the windows are really drafty so it's just adding to the cold! Brrrrr....

The Philadelphia Eagles are in the NFC Championship game tomorrow against the Arizona Cardinals! Whooo hooo, we're going to kick ass and we're going to the SUPER BOWL, BABY!!!!!!

I've had the Wii for for a WEEK now. I've been on it ONCE, and that was only for a fitness test. I suck.... I keep finding excuses not to exercise... However, the kids love it! Chris is on there now shaking his booty, doing the hoola hoop exercise. If he knew that I just blogged that he was shaking his booty, he would kill me!

This dieting stuff is HARD!

It's Day 13 of "THE DIET", and I'm feeling majorly frustrated! I'm not a girl with a lot of patience -- I want things to be done NOW and I want to see results NOW. And so far, I really haven't seen any results, and I'm feeling like a failure!

I've made SO many changes... I cut out my major junk food habit. Before, I used to eat McDonalds or Wendy's at least 3 times a week. Not any more... I used to drink tons of soda a day -- Not anymore... I drink water or Diet Pepsi. I used to eat snacks all day long -- Not anymore... IF I have a snack during the day, it's a Protein bar or a 100 calorie cup cake. I feel like I'm starving myself, eating around 900 calories a day, and still nothing!!!

BUT, despite ALL those changes, the scale hasn't moved at all. Not one single bit... At least if I saw it go down a pound or two, I'd feel a little more encouraged. My good friend Gina keeps telling me that I'll see the difference in my clothes before I see the difference on the scale, but damn it -- I want to see the difference on the scale!

I got on the Wii fit tonight, and set up my profile and set my goal. My total goal is 50 lbs by July, but the Wii fit won't let you go up that high. So I chose my goal to be 22lbs in 3 months, which STILL puts me in the 'obese' category.

I'm sure (hopefully) I'll eventually start losing weight, but I don't know if I can be patient until that day comes!

Wordless Wednesday

Have you ever seen a cuter 2 year old???

Something I never thought I'd admit....

But I actually REALLY like diet coke!! Who'd have thought that me, Ms. 5 Mt. Dew a day drinker, would ever love Diet Coke. But it's true... I started drinking them last week, and now I'm hooked. I prefer them so much more over regular coke. My parent's convinced me today that it was okay to drink *one* Coke, and that it wouldn't hurt my diet.

Ughhh... It tasted like syrup!! How did I ever drink them before??

I've been so proud of myself that for the past week, I've been able to stick strongly to my diet. No fast food, no junk food, no soda, no snacks. I've been SUPER disciplined. I've even acquired a taste for protein bars!

I know it's only been a week, but I'm going through this week by week... Soon the weeks will add up, and then the months will add up and before you know it, I'll reach my goal -- losing 50 lbs by my 30th birthday on July 19th. I know it's a steep goal, but I KNOW if I'm determined and work my ass off, I CAN do it!!!

Rough day all around....

I thought today was going to be a nice, relaxing day... Sophie & Peyton would be coming home from my husband's around 12, Matt would be coming home from church around 2, and Chris would be coming home from his dad's around 4. Christopher's belated birthday party (as he turned 13 on New Years Eve) was going to be today at 4. Easy enough day, right?

As soon as Peyton came home, I knew it wasn't going to be as relaxing as I thought. Most of you probably know that Peyton has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and has a hard time with his senses, tactile feelings, emotions, etc. When he gets really tired, or really overwhelmed with his surroundings, he starts having issues. NOW, the thing that really irritates me is that when the O.T. is here, Peyton is SO well behaved. He sits and plays nicely, he follows directions, and is a real pleasure. I wish I could get her to see him when he gets overwhelmed, when he's throwing tantrums and smacking his head on the floor, or when he flops down when he's upset and refuses to move, and you kind of have to drag him to get him moving.

But anyway, Peyton was over tired today, and as the day got worse, his behavior got worse. He kept hitting me and shouting "NO" at me. He was throwing his famous tantrums and just giving me a really hard time.

Sophie was over tired as well, and SHE was acting up, which she never ever does. She was whiny and cranky and kept crying over the stupidest things... She refused to leave my parent's house and started crying because she wanted to go camping -- keep in mind it's like 25 degrees out.

So it's now 7:15 and I'm just counting down the time until they're both in bed. I know it's bad to wish your kids in bed, but I just SO need the quiet time tonight.

On a good note, my mother let me borrow her Wii fit today so I can get started exercising. I can't wait to start using it! I was going to start tonight, but after the day I've had, I just want to get in my Jammie's, crawl in bed, and watch Desperate Housewives!

Random Friday Ramblings....

I'm so glad this week is over! It has been the week from hell. Every day seemed longer than the other, and by today, all the days just seemed to blend into one. It doesn't help that I had to drive to my IL's house every day this week to drop off the kids -- they live 35 minutes away, and in the morning's when it's crunch time, I never seem to make it on time. Every day this week I was barely making it into work by 8:30 a.m. One day traffic was so bad b/c of stupid RAIN that I didn't get in until 9 a.m.! whoops!

I'm so glad that I found out my phone is covered under warranty. My phone just decided to stop working a few days ago -- no one can hear me when I answer the phone, and even if I have it on speaker phone, I have to shout really loud and hope that the person on the other end can hear me. It's kind of hard to talk like that! thankfully the only person that really calls me is my husband and I can shout to him all I want. All I have to do now is drive 1/2 hr tomorrow to some fulfillment center which sounds really tricky to get to, and they'll replace my phone right there. Whoo hoo!

All the kids except for Matt (my 11 year old) are gone this weekend. My house is too quiet! I'm used to the sounds that Peyton makes while he's sleeping in the room next to me, but there's no sounds.... I straightened up the living room tonight and put all their toys back in their toy boxes, and I know the minute they get home Sunday night, ALL the toys will be thrown back out again!

I've made it a whole week on my new diet, and it's going really well!! I can notice subtle changes already. I've completely cut out my Code Red Mt Dew addiction, and instead have been sporadically drinking diet Coke. It's the taste of soda without the calories! I've been eating smaller portion sizes, and tonight when I tried to eat a 'real' meal, I got full so fast! Now I have to start exercising, which I'll start doing when I get the Wii fit, and I'll be on my way.

Gas is going up again -- yuck. I was loving the super low prices..

I have a busy day tomorrow, with lots of driving and lots of running around. I'd rather stay at home.

Some things are just a huge waste of time...

So in a post a few days ago, I mentioned wanting to make a job change and alluded to a job that I found that I sent my resume in for. This job sounded good in the ad -- (don't they always) -- an Office Manager for a Paralegal office. I figured, "Well, I'm a Paralegal, and I can do Office Manager functions, so I'd be perfect for this job". So I sent off my resume, and waited...

Finally, at like 8:30 p.m. last night, I get an email from the office, a very generic form letter email, saying that they were going to be holding interviews from 11-4 today, and to email them back with a time slot. Umm, HELLO for the short notice!! I gathered up my nerve, replied back, and planned on going in at 12:30 today.

After totally missing the entrance and having to loop ALL the way around, like a 10 minute detour, I finally get there. I'm looking nice, I have my resume in a nice blue folder, along with a copy of my references, and I'm ready to wow them. I fill out the standard job application (which I haven't had to fill out in forever!) and am finally ready to meet with the attorney - it's a one attorney law firm.

I spend all of TEN minutes with him. He goes over my application with me, and starts asking me all these questions about why I want to leave my current job. He goes on to tell me that the economy is really crappy right now and no one can find a job.... At this point, I started to feel a bit odd about the interview.. I felt like he was totally talking me OUT of the job!?! And if that wasn't bad enough, he tells me that he's had over 200 resumes for this position, everyone wants the job, they're swamped with interviews, etc...

He didn't give me a chance to ask any questions about the office or the job, so I have virtually no idea what I'd be doing. All I know is that I'd be in charge of a Paralegal. He doesn't ask me any other questions other than why I'm looking to leave, and how long it'll take me to drive to the office!

I left feeling totally deflated. I hate getting all pumped up, psyching myself up to do a great job, and then just feeling totally let down. I wanted to cry on the way home. I blame my friend Gina for talking me into going! She told me I HAD to go & I would do great! Haha!

He did say that they would finish up the interviews today and pick the top 2-3 people and call them back for another round, so maybe there's still hope for me!

Wordless Wednesday

Coming in late to Wordless Wednesday! Can you believe I totally forgot it was Wednesday until I saw the WW post at MOMDOT?

Here's my contribution! Sophie with her gazillion baby dolls that she acquired from her birthday and Christmas!

The journey of a thousand miles....

Today is the day I decided that I'm done being fat & unhealthy, and I've decided to actively change that. I'm tired of waking up and craving soda and fatty foods. I know it's going to be hard, but I KNOW I can do this..

I plan on taking it day by day, until weeks go by, and then months... And before I know it, I'll be skinnier and healthier. I'll be able to run around with my kids and do more than I can do now.

I quit soda cold turkey yesterday.. Not sure how that's going to turn out. I have a serious 4 soda a day habit, with Code Red Mountain Dew being my drink of choice. I bought tons of flavored seltzer water and am going to drink that instead.

I'm trying to watch my portion sizes, and am drinking water all day to trick myself into feeling full.

I don't plan on posting tons of updates on my journey in this Blog, but I will post sporatic updates just to keep everyone posted. My idea is that once I put it in writing here on this Blog, i'm going to (hopefully) feel more motivated to actually accomplish my goals!

Would someone please come shoot my van?

I'm currently searching for someone that will come out and shoot my van to put it out of misery. Please? I'll pay you well... LOL...

This is the second time in a month that my car has been in the shop. The first time, it died on me 40 minutes from my house, had to be towed back to the mechanic shop, and needed a brand new battery and a serpentine belt. Final bill -- $350.00

Fast forward to Christmas Eve, when I start off on our drive to my cousin's house, and I hear the lovely sound of metal on metal brakes. Niiiiice!!! So I finally got the car into the shop this morning (I should also note that it had failed inspection for one inoperable wiper blade, and one damaged wiper bloade). It ended up needing new breaks, new rotors, and 2 new windshield wipers. Final bill -- $240.00

So yes, in the past month, my P.O.S. car, with 118,000 miles on it, has needed almost $600 in repairs. I should just drive it into a ditch and collect the insurance on it. I am fully convinced that this is not the last time the damn thing is going to need to go into the shop. I just hope this doesn't turn into a monthly occurance!!

Sophie's Holiday dance show (a little late!)

So her show was a few weeks ago -- almost a month ago by now, I guess, but I've finally gotten around to uploading it to You Tube (thanks to my genius teenager!). It's about two minutes long, so it's not horrible to sit through. She's the first blonde girl you see -- enjoy :-)

Contemplating a job change in 2009

There's something about the New Year that always makes me want to start looking for a new job. I don't know, I guess I just always think that the new year is about making new changes and tackling new challenges, and what's a bigger change than a whole new job, right?? But I'm scared!

I have kind of a history of changing jobs. I get bored easily, and I always want to move on to bigger and better things. Every one of my jobs has been a step up, so it's not a bad thing. I've been in my current job, a Paralegal for a Social Security/Disability law firm, for almost 2 years now. I hate it! I started out liking it, but things got really stressful really quick, and I ended up taking on too much and (literally) almost had a nervous breakdown. I ended up having to take a pay cut and a less responsible position in the firm in order to keep my sanity. And now I'm just bored.

I've been looking around on Craigslist and found a job that I think I would be really great at. It combines all my skills and background, it's close to where I work now, and it's in my salary range. But I can't get over my fear of actually putting my resume out there and applying! I've gotten comfy in my job -- I know I can go to work wearing jeans and sneakers without having to look nice at all. I know that if I need to take a day off because of the kids of for the holiday's, no one would really care much. This job I'm interested in is much more 'responsible' and I don't know if I would have those luxuries. And what happens if I actually have to dress up every day?? ugghhh..!!!!

I guess it doesn't hurt to email my resume and see what happens. I just hate interviewing! I'm actually great at interviews, but they're so nerve wracking!

I'll keep everyone posted -- wish me luck :-)

Happy 2009!

I hope everyone had a safe, happy, fun filled New Years Eve! Ours didn't turn out as I would've planned it, but it was still spent with the people I love the most in the world - my family, so I can't complain... I only cried a little at midnight, in the comfort of my old bedroom at my parents, when I allowed myself to realize that I wasn't ringing in the New Year with a sweetheart. I don't know what the New Year will hold -- who knows, maybe my husband and I will work things out and we'll be celebrating New Year's Eve 2009 as a happy couple. Or, I'll still be single, but I'll be

happy about things. The year is full of possibilities!

Sophie stayed up to Midnight for her very first time, and she had such a great time. She had a dance party with Grandmom, and played Wii bowling with her big brothers. Peyton couldn't hang and ended up falling asleep by 11 - he gave it a noble try, though.

Here's Peyton doing bowling with Christopher:

And here's Sophie taking a turn!

Sophie & Grandmom's dance party!

And me & Christopher celebrating his actual 13th Birthday!