Taking a break from Blogging for a while....

Although I'm sure no one's sad to see me go :-) Let's face it, I've been lousy at updating recently, and even my own brother noticed!!!

Things have just gotten really stressful and overwhelming, and I haven't been able to give this Blog the attention it deserves.. I've gotten burned out! I'm not the most intresting of people, anyway, and I've just run out of things to talk about. I can only post *so* much about my Kidney stones before people start losing interest! hahaha...

So anyway, I'll still be around... I'll make sure to check out the Blogs I read on a daily basis, and I'll still be working on Celebrity Round-up every week over at Mom Dot. I might be stressed, but I still LOVE my Celebrity gossip! :-)

In the famous words of the Terminator, "I'll be back"......

Now I know why the pillows were only $2.99...

Last night I decided to go out and buy a whole new sheet seat, comforter, pillows, and pillow cases. The main reason was because my damn cat peed on my sheets, and even though I washed them over 5 times, they still smelled like cat pee. And let's face it, no one wants to lay in a bed that smells like cat pee.

At Target, I found a really great 'deal' on pillows -- $2.99!! So I pick up 2 of them, along with nice pillow cases, get home, get the bed all set up and try to fall asleep.

It's NOT working. Those pills are like laying on nothing! My head just sinks right down through to the other side. There's no padding, support or anything. I felt like my neck was going to break! I could've made the crappy pillows myself by just putting the cotton stuffing that my son bought for a project into a pillowcase and tying it shut.

Ugh.. Now I'm stuck with these 2 crappy pillows... Of course, I'll probably end up going back to Target today and buying nicer ones, but it just annoys me that I can't return these pillows since I slept on them already, and threw the packaging away.

Oh well... at least I'm only out $6. Lesson learned. NEVER BUY THE CHEAP PILLOWS!!!!!!

I know, I've sucked at updating lately!

But trust me when I say my life has been sooooo stressful and complicated the past week or so. My head is still spinning! It feels like every day, something else horrible is happening.

I had my Kidney CT Scan on Tues to see if I had Kidney stones, turns out I do... My Dr promised me that they'd 'pass' by Thurs, and that if they haven't, to call and make an appt with a Urologist, since it'll be almost 2 weeks that this has been going on... Sooo, I see a Urologist on March 2nd, and they'll discuss whether or not I need surgery. Can you say "Fun"? Ugh!

I freaking hate this! I'm still in a lot of pain, and I have these random contractions in my bladder all throughout the day. I feel like I'm in labor again! My DR said it's the body's way trying to pass those nasty stones, but so far nothing's happening!

In other news, my Sister in Law, who I've posted about earlier, is in really bad shape. She went into a Coma yesterday, and they're not expecting her to make it through the weekend.. *Sigh* It has been SO had. Sophie has picked up on everything that's going on, and she hasn't let me out of her sight. Everytime I walk away to do something, she asks "Are you going to come back? Are you going to die?"... It's so sad. I try to talk to her about things in ways she'll understand, but she's still fixated on the fact that I might die. I finally have decided to not talk to her about it until something happens with her Aunt, and then Hubby & I will figure out the best way to explain what's been going on.

I have some other things going on as well, which are really stressful, but I don't want to bring them up here... Just everyone say a prayer for us :-)

I'll try to get on more and post, but I can't make guarantees... Just stick with me!!!

All alone..... on Valentine's Day.....

I feel like singing that song, "All by myself........".... Ugh. I know I shouldn't let it get me down, but I'm just so depressed! Valentine's Day, the last few years at least, has been a special day for me -- my husband proposed to me on Valentine's day, so every year for the past 5 years I would look forward to our special little 'anniversary' of when we decided to start our lives together......

But today has been like any other day. The kids have dirty faces and knots in their hair (Well, just Sophie at least...). Sponge Bob has been on our TV all day... I'm wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, with minimal make up. No sexy clothes or nice make up for anyone in my house!!! Instead of a fancy dinner out, we ordered take out from the local pizza short. Oh well. At least I have my kids here, right?

Sophie and Peyton don't even really know it's Valentine's Day. Sophie has been saying "Happy Valentine's Day" all day, but I don't know if she gets what it means.... and Peyton has no clue... Chris, on the other hand, made me this REALLY sweet card, a card that totally made me cry; until I realized that he copied it out of a Hallmark card that my sister had sent to my mother!!! LOL..... I guess it was the thought that counts, right? At least that's what I'm going with!

Anyway, I hope however you chose to spend your Valentine's day -- with a special loved one, with your kids, or alone, it was a special, love filled day!

Well, I guess both myelf *and* my GYN were wrong...

Because apparently I don't have a Kidney infection. Which is probably why the antibiotics haven't been doing anything since Wednesday, and why I feel worse and I'm constantly in pain.

Apparently I have kidney stones!!!! That's currently what my Primary doctor thinks, at least. I was there to see him bright and early at 8:00 a.m., and after explaining everything to him, he asked if I had ever heard of Kidney stones and I knew I'd be in for trouble!!

A few years ago, my OB/GYN found stones during an U/S to check for something else... He told me that they can kind of just hang out there in your body for a long time, and they shouldn't cause much pain, but that at any random time, they can just flare up and be hell!

So now I have to go in for a Spiral CT Scan on Tuesday to see what's going on, and I have to drop off a Urine sample at the Lab Monday morning. And then the Dr will see if I'll be able to pass them myself, or if I'll need surgery. Damn it!!

I swear, lately I cannot go to the Dr without ending up with something really stupid, something that I totally didn't plan on going in there for. So now I'm wondering if the last 'Bladder Infection' I had, about 6 mths ago, that my GYN put me on antibiotics for but came back right away again, was really the stones acting up.....

So we'll see what happens~

Kidney Infection = Absolute living hell

First off, my apologies for not writing more on here the past few days. I'm not lying when I say I've been in absolutely AGONY the past few days with this stupid freaking kidney infection. When people have described the pain as intense as childbirth, I thought they were just blowing steam up my ass. Believe me, people -- it's true!!

For the past 5 days, I've been in a daze... Somehow I've managed to talk to clients, request medical records, review complex Social Security files, and prep clients, all without screwing up. I've ran a household (sort of!) and managed to keep it all together. All while having fever/chills/nausea/pain/etc. Ugh. It's been a looooong week.

I thought for sure I'd be better by now. The Nurse Practitioner at my GYN office put me on pretty strong antibiotics, and told me to call my PCP by Friday (today) if I didn't feel better. I thought "Won't be necessary, I'll be fine by then!". Nope! Actually, the opposite is true! I actually feel worse...

So I made the obligatory call to the PCP, describing all the pain, how I haven't been able to pee (sorry, TMI!) normally in a day or two, how I have regular contraction type things in my bladder area while I'm just sitting here (they hurt!), how I"m running a 101.4 fever, etc... Surely she'd tell me to come in right away, or go right to the ER? Hell no.. She offers me an appt for 8:10 tomorrow morning!!

Just wanted to come on here and update.... Please bear with me while I continue to sludge through this hell and hopefully start feeling better soon!!!

Diagnosing myself on the Internet is fun!

I think I've finally figured out what has been plaguing me for the last 2 weeks! AND, I didn't have to go sit in any nasty ass waiting rooms or have to see pay a co-pay! whooo hooo! Actually, I *do* have a Dr's appt scheduled tomorrow, but it was scheduled before I started feeling so crappy. It just happened to coincide...

((THIS IS THE TMI PART RIGHT HERE, SORRY))

I have a history of Bladder infections, and about a week ago, I could feel the symptoms of a bladder infection coming on. So I started drinking cranberry juice, and I seemed to feel better. But then on Sunday, I started to get a really high fever.... And then chills.... And then nausea.... and then a few other symptoms which I won't list here because they have to do with potty functions.

Soooo... as I'm sitting here at work, doubled over in pain, sweating from my fever, shivering with chills, I type in "Symptoms of Bladder Infection" and go on to read, and scroll down to read where it starts talking about "Symptoms of Kidney Infection", and I felt like I had hit pay dirt!!!!

Now, obviously I'm not a Dr, unless someone wants to pay me like a DR and let me walk around calling myself Dr. Michelle... LOL. But it's good to know that this is a possibility for when I walk into my Dr's appt tomorrow. I *almost* picked up the phone to call my family Dr earlier today (this appt tomorrow is for the beloved 'female' dr) but I thought my family Dr would think I was being a baby if I called in saying I had a fever and chills...

so, we shall see... In the meantime, I'm going to go back to being wracked with fever and chills. SO not fun!

Dear Blogger:

Dear Blogger;

I just want to let you know, you suck.

When I work on an article, for over two hours, I expect to be able to insert pictures into the article. I want to be able to hit the pretty little mountain icon and have the 'insert picture' box come up. I want to be able to insert my pictures, arrange them into the post, and move on with my day. I don't want to sit here and push the button over and over again, stupidly hoping that it'll make it work faster.

My eyes hurt from looking at the screen. I have not gotten off the couch since 5:30. It's now 7:39 p.m. I have not eaten, so I am super grouchy. Don't you know that Saturday nights are the nights I work on my celebrity article for Momdot? (Yes, my life is that pathetic).

But alas, I'll just have to save my article and finish it up tomorrow and hope that you want to let me insert pictures then.

Thanks so much for sucking.

Your unloyal customer,
Michelle :-(

Ways you can tell your co-worker is bipolar...

All from personal experience... whose personal experience???

1) She runs around singing "Fame -- I'm going to live forever!!" and does Jazz hands, encouraging everyone to sing.

2) Finds it insanely funny to twirl the office chairs around and around and around, and wants to have a competition to see which one goes fastest (the tall backed leather ones go faster than the shorter red fabric ones. I wonder why that is??)

3) Keeps breaking into random insane laughing fits, lasting at least 5 - 10 minutes, where her face turns bright red and she can't stop. And when a client calls during the middle of one of those said laughing fits, she hangs up on him because she can't talk and pretends like it was an accident.

4) Decides it's a good idea to go Horseback riding today, even though it's 24 degrees outside. Tries to recruit co-workers.. No one else thinks it's a good idea. Calls 3 different ranches, all of which say they're closed during the winter. Argues with one and tells them it's a stupid idea to be closed during the winter....

5) Randomly stares up at the ceiling light cover and is insanely annoyed at the dead bugs just laying in the cover. Tries to hatch a plan to get the cover unscrewed and get the bugs out. Tries to climb on the leather highback chairs to reach the ceiling, but that rolls away and I almost fall -- thankfully the desk breaks my fall. Then I try to recruit a co-worker to let me stand on him while he's on his chair and reach it -- he didn't think that was a good idea. Finally someone offered me a step stool to placate me, but by that time I decided it was a stupid idea and I moved on to something else...

Yes, people -- that was my day.... I usually don't like to talk about the fact that I'm a certified crazy, bipolar, pill popping mental person, but some days I can't escape it; today being one of those days. I haven't been doing well, and I've been neglecting my Blog, so pardon me if this crap is on my Blog today.... Ladadadadadadada... I'll try to fill it with more happy things in a couple days :-)

Sooo, I've been using Proactiv Solution for 2 weeks and...

I absolutely LOVE it!

I have to say, I had my reservations about this product. The biggest reason; the cost. I mean, $60 for face wash? I am uber cheap when it comes to face wash. I usually buy the cheapest stuff at the store, whatever is on sale.

However, since I've been taking Lithium for the past 9 months, it has been torture on my face. One of the major side effects of Lithium is acne. This is the first time in my whole life I've ever had acne. I used to have perfect skin, and for my face to break out now, at 29 years old, was really hard on me.

So I broke down, ordered it online, and started using it.

I *did* take pictures, from what my skin looked like when I first start using it, what it looked like at the end of the first week, and what it looks like today, but I'm not going to be posting them. Why? I HATE the way my profile looks! I'll save you all the horror. Let's just say it works, and works really, really well.

It's a three step solution -- there's the renewing cleanser, which has tiny little beads in it which sloughs away dead skin and gets deep into your pours. This leaves your face feeling SO awesome afterwards!

Then there's the Revitalizing Toner, which helps remove anything the cleanser left behind, any makeup, dead skin cells, etc and also helps cleanse and tones your pores.

Last is the Repairing Lotion, which you use all over your face. This helps heal blemishes and prevent any future breakouts.

My set came with the Green Tea Moisturizer as an extra bonus, which I love.. It smells great, and I put it on right after I put on the Repairing lotion. It's real lightweight, and is just enough moisturizer to leave my skin feeling soft and smooth, but doesn't leave it feeling greasy.

On top of that all, I love this Proactive line SO much that I just ordered (and received, in just a mater of a few days) Proactiv Foundation, Loose Powder, and Refining Mask. I have to say, all three of these items are AWESOME. The foundation that I was using, which was some Maybeline foundation, was awful. It looked like Clown makeup! It was so caked on and orangey looking. Plus, my skin felt so good after using all the great Proactiv products that I just didn't want to put heavy products on.

The Proactiv foundation, and I'm not kidding when I say this, matches my skin *perfectly*. I got the medium color, and as soon as I put it on my skin, it automatically blends in. It doesn't even look like I'm wearing foundation. It looks so much more natural.

I'm amazed at the fact that in just 2 weeks, my skin is almost 75% cleared up, and looks so much healthier. I know it's going to be a fighting battle, especially since I need to continue to take Lithium, but with Proactiv on my side, at least I'll be a little more confident every day!

1 Month Weight Loss Update!

Here it is, ONE whole month into my weight loss journey.... 30 days ago, I NEVER thought I would've made it this far. I never thought I'd be able to cut out my beloved soda, or my junk food, or my fast food, or ANY of the shit I ate on a daily basis. BUT, I've done it, and damn have I done it well if I must say so.

So, the grand total weight loss in one month???

FIFTEEN POUNDS. Yes, people -- 15!!!!

I know there's going to be people that'll tell me that's too fast of a weight loss, and I can appreciate that. However, I promise you; I did not set out to lose that much weigh that fast. I promise you that I didn't starve myself (at least not too much! lol..), I didn't make myself throw up, and I didn't do any fad diets. I just started to eat healthier, and the weight just fell off.

My clothes fit better, and I feel better. My face looks so much skinner already, and sometimes I look in the mirror and think "Is that me?". My pants that I just bought 2 weeks ago, b/c my other pants were too big, are already getting too big.

Now I'm only 35 lbs to my original goal -- 5o lbs by my 30th birthday in July! I want to be hot and sexy by time I turn 30 :-)

Hebrew school Dropout....

*Hanging my head in shame* I admit it -- I've let my child become that child -- the child that stops going to extra-curricular activities, although I promised myself that I would never let them quit. Although if we're talking honestly here, it's MY fault that she isn't going anymore.

This is the first year that Sophie has been old enough for Hebrew school, and I was really excited when I found out that she qualified for the 3 & 4 year old class. It's only once a month at the Temple, which is about 45 minutes from our house. I just don't think Sophie 'gets' it, and I think it's my fault. Because of our hectic schedule, and my work schedule, we NEVER make it to Tot Shabbat, which is every other Friday night at 7 p.m. Tot Shabbat is when they learn more about G-D, about the religion, etc. So she just goes to Hebrew School, and is completely clueless.

She's in a class with other kids who live and breath Judaism; where they have older brothers and sisters who have been through Hebrew school, where they go to service every week, where they celebrate their religion every chance they get....

And then there's Sophie. Sophie didn't even know what a Menorah was at Hanukkah! I was SO embarrassed! It was then that I knew that maybe I should let her embrace this whole religion thing when she's ready. I still plan on reading her the cute little Jewish books we have at home, and celebrating the Jewish holidays the way we do it, but I don't necessarily want to get her into 'formalized' Jewish religion too early on. Is this wrong of me? Will she suffer if she doesn't get a good solid religious education?

My mother forced us into CCD when my brother and I were young, and we HATED it. We couldn't wait until we hit 8th grade and made our Confirmation so we could get the hell out of their, and I promised myself I wouldn't do the same to my children! And so far, I haven't... none of my older boys have been in religious education; Sophie is the only one!