I have ZERO Christmas spirit this year

Here it is, mere days before Christmas, and I have NO desire for Christmas to come at all. Usually I look forward to all the preparations -- the tree, the lights, the decorations, the Christmas shopping, etc. This year; nothing. I feel like I'm going through the motions. I shop aimlessly, and nothing excites me. I have the tree up, but I think it looks awful. Let me tell you, after the freaking cat knocked the tree down three times, the tree has taken quite a beating. The branches aren't sitting right, and aren't 'fluffed' enough. The lights are all messed up, and somehow all the ornaments have disappeared. How the hell do ornaments disappear from a tree? I think a little blond boy had something to do with it, in cohorts with the damn cat.

Every year I used to look forward to seeing what my husband bought me for Christmas. He always did a good job of listening to little hints I dropped all year, and would buy a big gift bag and load all my presents into it. This year, we won't be exchanging presents and last year might have been our last Christmas together, which makes me sad thinking about. We won't get to share Christmas morning together with the kids. Instead, they'll be waking up with me Christmas morning, and then going out with him for the rest of the day into the next day.

Nothing just seems 'right' this year and it's depressing me. I want things to be happy and magical again. I wish I wasn't wishing Christmas would hurry up and be over with so I can stop being so sad :-(